Parents ... Know What You Want

(originally posted August 20, 2009)

“Train up a child in the way he would go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.

Many of us rely upon this proverb as a promise of fruitfulness in our children’s lives provided we are faithful to teach them the word of God. It is a “truism” and not a promise, and it actually speaks to a much larger matter than hopefulness of salvation security. What the proverb really says is, “Train a child according to his bent and he will always be bent that direction.” Let a tree grow bent and guess what? … when it is mature and full grown, it is permanently bent.

One of the greatest dangers in our “choice-is-the-highest-virtue” culture is that we will choose merely by our desires and preferences, and not necessarily by what is best. This is especially the case with teens. I DO believe that they are "adult's-becoming" and that as Christians they have the Holy Spirit. But since when have they become wise enough to know what is best for them? They have no experience, minimal knowledge, limited exposure to the real demands of life, half-cultivated wisdom, and a plethora of partially-managed desires. If allowed to make their decisions based upon “what they prefer”, they will usually choose something convenient or pleasurable having the short-term in view.

This is precisely why Christian parents need to know decisively what they want for their children. Life shaping decisions, and particularly educational decisions, need to be directed and governed by parents who have a goal that reaches beyond the immediate pleasure or pain, likes or dislikes. Young people seem to be most strongly influenced by TV, movies, music and their friends. When asked what they want to do for school, it is the rare teen who will tell you he wants to do hard things. What they tell you will most likely be what seems easiest or what their friends think is desirable, but they will not likely tell you they want a curriculum that is difficult, demanding, sometimes elusive or contrary to their fallen nature. Yet that is the kind of education that works on and bends the soul in a direction which is useful to God.

When parents make education decisions based upon what is making their children happy, ultimately their children will neither be happy nor trained up in the way they SHOULD go. Parents ... know what you want, why you want it, and then stay the course.